I know my daughter Maylie has got this – she is well equipped to handle this weekend at church camp on her own. And I am beyond proud of her courage.
“But, Mommy, I am not sure that I can do it - be away from you for three whole days.” Maylie went on, “You help me through all of my problems. I need you there to help me.”
While she had confidently decided months ago that she wanted to attend the weekend overnighter church camp this year, as it drew nearer, Miss Maylie was having doubts about being away that long. I am not going to lie, I had those doubts the second we signed her up. Not only was I worried about missing my baby with her being away that long, but also about her missing me.
While she has had sleepovers from time to time with family or close friends, it is rare, if ever, for more than one night. But this trip is going to be a full weekend. Not only that, but previous sleepovers, but I could always easily call/text to chat with her or check up on her. To say I am worried about this weekend is an understatement.
Clearly, my girl was having the same worries. After all, her mommy — her always-there helper — would not be there to solve any problems that could come her way. Regardless of my feelings, I needed to make sure I treaded lightly to respond to her fears; I couldn’t let my feelings slip out as I tried to console hers.
It’s a funny thing sometimes about being a mom. Most of the time, we have seconds to respond to questions and statements from our children. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have questioned my own responses. But, every once in a while, I even shock myself.
“Oh, Maylie girl, don’t you see? I have already taught you how to handle your problems – all of our techniques that we use together when you are feeling overwhelmed – you already know them! While I am happy to do them with you when we are together, you don’t need me to do them. I have taught you them so that you can handle anything that comes your way. That’s the job of a Mommy – to equip you to handle things on your own when I cannot be there.”
Man, you should have seen the smile that crept across her face. Immediately, she knew what I was saying. I mean, she knew that we had practiced so many times deep breaths when we get anxious, 5,4,3,2,1 sensory grounding when we get overwhelmed and even the ABC game when we need to get our mind off of something.
Just a side note, these items aren’t in the parenting books that I read as a pregnant Mama preparing for a child. These are items that we have sought out to help with a very anxious child. Understanding and being able to overcome – look past – the present moment when the start of a scary event comes on, has become something we work on daily.
Oh, don’t you get me wrong! Sometimes, I fail miserably as a mother trying to help her through these things. Often times, I start off soft and sweet and work her through all the techniques we have learned. But, there are times when my patience or schedule only allows for so much and I crack. I am not a perfect mother by any means. But, I feel like each and every time that I mess up, we both grow and learn and it helps us prepare for the next time.
Which, I guess, is maybe why I felt confident enough in my answer to her worries about me not being with her for a few days. Together, we have worked through “all her problems.” Sometimes, once we get down to one on the count-down of senses, we are both feeling better. Others, we both end crying and apologizing. But, no matter what, we always figure out each and every issue in the end.
And she is always very much a part of the solution. She has also learned so much on this path of dealing with feelings and emotions and, while some days it feels like two steps forward and three steps back, most days we are paving a path of healthy emotional handling.
So this weekend, as my baby girl flies off to church camp to learn about Jesus, explore the wilderness and make new friends, I am confident in her ability to take on whatever comes her way. It’s a big deal for her – a huge next step in her overcoming fears.
Just don’t mind me if you see me this weekend and I am mess – I am still learning how to deal with my sweet girl making strides and growing up on me. But, I know she’s got this – she is well equipped. And I am beyond proud of her courage – and even more than that (even if it hurts) the fact that she needs me just a little less.
Sarah (Pitson) Shrader was born and raised in Lima. She is a Lima Central Catholic and Tiffin University graduate. Sarah is a full-time working mama who enjoys writing about her somewhat crazy, always adventurous life as a mother. She lives in Bath Township with her daughters and writing inspirations, Maylie and Reagan.
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Real Life Mama: The job of a Mommy – to equip kids to handle things on their own - LimaOhio.com
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